Little Earthquakes Everywhere

(Upon waking early to a text from my son newly in LA)

I’ve been working too hard at

letting go

here, at the edge of this

gaping,

clamorous

precipice,

convincing myself it’s

Okay

(mentally unwrapping the memory of

your small fingers

clutching my neck,

even as

my heart argues not to).

I’ve been taking one Valium too many,

doing belly breathing to

over-oxygenate

hoping for a natural

high,

that the flood to my

blood cells might

stave things

or at least

soften some

blow.

I’ve been reading the news,

desperate for

survival tips,

emailing decade-old stop-gaps

as if

they might help,

mapping out

essentials to

pack in my own

emotional

Go Bag.

This morning, on cue,

the earth trembled where

you

are,

I sat frozen

in the grey morning light,

telling myself it was

just a dream,

just my heart cracking open yet another

bit,

(but the geographical

coordinates confirmed

otherwise).

Gae is the author of several novels for readers of all ages, though shelved as tween and young adult. You can read more about her and her books at gaepolisner.com

Just another writer trying to stay afloat in a sea of words. Author of several novels. Wannabe mermaid. Mother. Trying to age gracefully with no grace in sight.

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